WHY DO THEY ACT THAT WAY? FOR OTHERS' PERCEPTION CONTROL
Playing dumb is a defense reaction.
Claiming to be powerless or foolish is an act of self-defense to fight individuals asking
questions. The appearance of innocence helps them to prevent taking responsibility for
their actions.
Data suggest that men are most likely overall to play dumb than women. Regardless of
the person’s sex, playing dumb is connected to inadequate mental health and wellness,
alienation, reduced self-esteem, and unhappiness. A tentative academic formulation
combines this type of others’ perception control with the following:
- The assumption that one is bright and knowledgeable
- The striking of intelligence as well as an understanding of communication
- The perception that one is being taken seriously
- The assumption of gain.
Playing “dumb” is a type of Gaslighting
Gaslighting makes you examine the truth. You know they are not incompetent, but they
play dumb, and you are put into a scenario where they can deflect any blame (they did
not understand much better!) and project shame (“How can you anticipate them to know
better?!”).
Playing “dumb” is a passive-aggressive behavior
Passive aggressive behavior is an indirect type of resistance in which a appears to
comply with the expectations and demands of others. Still, it withstands them with
behaviors such as manipulation, inactivity, and playing dumb.
When your instinct tells you that you’re being benefited from, played for a fool, or just
being mistreated, and you challenge the disordered personality, they’ll act like they have
no idea what you’re talking about.
THEIR STRATEGIES
1.”How can someone think something like this about me?”
They’ll pretend to be uninformed and in the dark. Sometimes, when you have received
details from a reliable source regarding something you suspect they’ve been doing,
they’ll act like they have no earthly suggestion where anybody could have developed
such an idea about them. Inventing ignorance is an efficient tactic that manipulates the
individual confronting the actions, you, into having doubts regarding the authenticity of
the problem they’re trying to bring to the other individual’s attention. Their ignorance
makes them feel like false accusers and victimizers instead of victims of the disordered
character’s destructive behavior.
2.” I would never do something like that!”
They deny evil-minded intentions. Denying is effective for numerous reasons,
mainly when used on regular people.
a) When the victimizer denies malicious intentions and appears innocent, the
individual confronting the troubling behavior begins to feel uneasy in the position
of the unreasonable accuser and starts to misperceive who occupies the
victimizer and victim position.
If the disturbed person can make you feel bad for fingering him, he’s halfway to
successfully fooling and manipulating you.
b) Regular individuals are prone to evaluating intentions rather than actions.
They want to think of most people as good and kind and hate to think that
individuals harbor malicious intentions. Moreover, they dislike thinking about
themselves and acting unjustly or in a fashion that damages others. So, when the
disordered person has them assuming that they’re the bad guys, they quickly
back down. That’s why I suggest to my clients who want to equip themselves in
their potential dealings with disturbed characters to “evaluate activities, not
intentions.”
3.“I don’t know.”
When challenged, they consistently use “I don’t know” as a response. That’s
because they’re not just keenly familiar with the things they do that people have
trouble with, yet they also know their reason for doing those things. They also
recognize that kind people are very reluctant to believe this. So, I suggest clients
in relationships with disturbed personalities be knowledgeable about the methods
they regularly use to avert obligation and manipulate others.
YOUR SOLUTIONS
- Over the years of practice, I have discovered that whenever you challenge a person’s inappropriate behavior, you must concentrate on those problem behaviors regardless of how clueless or innocent they could act.
- You need to make sure they own their problems. These became your problems indirectly, and your strategy requires that you communicate this to them. The first thing you must do is STOP helping. Your first conversation with them needs to be a question of how they intend to improve their “innocence” and “lack of knowledge,” not how you will find time to do the task for them.
Let me assure you that these disturbed people can only draw in similar ones that also overcompensate. It’s not healthy behavior, nor will they live a happy life until they decide to change.
Would you trust these individuals’ points of view for anything?